Simple Love

As sad as this will make me sound, not to mention pathetic and maybe slightly like Bridget Jones, yesterday at about two in the morning I think? ( I don' tend to sleep till around 4) I was just sat in my room sobbing. 
After I had watched 90210 and Glee.
It wasn't so much the show themselves that made me cry, more so what they show. Couples.
Always couples. People being together and despite problems, having relationships.
It was horrible to progress back to the state of feeling alone and the reasoning behind this that I'm ugly. Alone, ugly and crying at two in the morning. Crank out the chocolate and you have the beginning of a chick flick. Looking back, it was a spectacular pity fest. 
The worse thing is though, is that that's what in my head. It's just kind of pushed down under all the stuff. But I do genuinely feel like that. Dearie me. 


Anyway, I know I said I would try to write less whingy, 'romantic pictures' poems but I thought with this reasoning of last night, I was allowed some self indulgence in this one.


Reading it back, this is probably one of the most honest and open poems I've done. 

It's not so much the fact
I need someone 
to complete me 
I don't really want to 
be part of some romantic story
something that completely 
alters history,
I just want something simple.

A hand to hold
someone to grow old (with) 
he can give me his coat
if I get cold 
not to tell me I'm beautiful
but he thinks I am 
to smile before kissing me
to hold me when I'm sad
or hold me whenever
so tight I think he'll never let go
and I will always know
that he's here 
not just for me
but because he wants to be. 

Doubt

Doubt is like a shadow
covering the sun 
like a stone thrown 
in to the tide
and sinking down 
down
down.


Doubt is a cold gust
echoing through the head
it's a punishing force
making you wish
you were someone else instead.


Doubt is the slow trickle
of realisation
that you barely trust
anyone
let alone yourself 

When You Say You

A form or sign of friendship
is when you say you 
it means you know something 
or have noticed me 
paying attention 
and realising what I'm like 
you're beginning to know my traits 
how I behave 
as well as the things I like, 
the things that I hate.


It's a small thing you said
and it could of been misled
but I took it a sign 
that you're starting to know my mind 
and I am grateful 
that we are starting to click. 

Shining Eyes

I apologise for yesterday's poem, wrote it in about 30 seconds just before going the flat opposite to be social and what not. I'll try make today's better. Hopefully. 

You surprised me

by turning up here 
lifting me in the air
and calling me dear. 


When your eyes 
looked in to mine 
the pupils did shine
words fading on your lips.


I awoke in bed
realising that this had
just happened merely
inside of my head.


But now I wonder
when I see you next 
will those eyes shine 
and this become complex?

Okay

I may not know 
the always right thing to say 
I may not know
if I'm in the way 
but I know that really
everyone is the same
and that makes the things
I don't know 
okay. 

How We Say Goodbye

As promised, here is me making the poem yesterday, better. 
Original couplet:
Saying goodbye
it makes me cry


Can't really find a picture that sums it up right. Apologies. 


How we say goodbye 
it's so much in the words
that we utter or cry
but in the grip of the hug 
the warmth of a head 
pressing in to a shoulder 
the heart beat that becomes
as heavy as a boulder
the tears that run down the face 
forever 
but really, not for long
in that warm, tight embrace. 


Hopefully it's a bit better than the couplet :')

Greetings and Meetings

Making new relationships 
handshakes 
with palm lines 
running in to one another
hopefully close
but likely not so much 
as a sister or brother


Smile 
look like you know 
what's going on 
trying to look like 
you belong 


Hi,
it's worth a try.

What I Would Like

Noses touching 
smile sharing 
always caring 
with you.


Face pressed 
into your chest 
your arms
around my waist 
you smile at me 
I'm the only 
person that you see.



Soft slow kisses 
simple wishes 
long lastings hugs 
being in love.

Am I?

Am I
just the friend
the one will be in that zone
until the very end

Am I
the one, the only
the one who completes you
who without, you'd be lonely

Am I
the one you trust
the one who you believe
in a sea of voices, screaming you must

Am I me?
Or am I what you make believe?

A Cliché but Friendly Poem

So this blog is not to GMT, sigh, oh well this is Wednesday 24th poem.  


Oh and I shall be going to a music festival the next few days and will be bringing a phone that cannot access the internet. So my lovely mum will be posting the poems for me, the 4 of which I wrote today :) 


Thanks mum (if you're reading this) much appreciated. 

My friends 
are my second family 
I wouldn't change them
I hope they wouldn't change me


They are there,
always
and don't care
what I look like or if I'm odd 


I couldn't ask for more
they like me
when I'm not sure I do
and sometimes, words
are not needed 
we're just us.


I apologise for the lame and shitness of this poem but I am sleepy and after writing 200 something poems, I am running out of ideas xD I might edit this at a later date. 

Lost in the Middle

Foot paths between the eyes
passing on secrets
sharing lies.


Where am I?


Stuck in the middle
unsure what to do
trying not to watch 
the smug smiles
flash between the two


No whispers
nor scathing 
nor laughing behind a hand
just looks 
and smiles 
that I don't understand.

Regrets and Maybes.

Regret bites at the heart 
as I wish that we 
could be together 
and you put your arms
around me
like you do with her.


Maybe we couldn't 
of been anything
at all 
but now I can't help
thinking 
that we would 
of been good.


But it's too late. 


I don't know what I'd
tell you
had I been given 
the chance
maybe nothing at all
so my words here
will have to do
I think
that maybe,

I could of loved you. 

Held

Oneword.com for title. Tried to link it to father's day then spiralled  bit in to other things that reminded me of the word. I don't know, just hope it doesn't sound incesty, it's not meant to xD

Family
A mother and child
Or on the back of father
tiny arms round the neck
or.


Lovers
Hands together
longing forever
Safe
Always 
never thinking 
of the moment
of letting go. 

THe Harshest of Judges

You think everybody is looking
judging your every move
but few
if any
are actually watching you. 


Nobody cares really
about that mistake
well, 
they might do
just nowhere near
as much you. 


The mirror is the enemy
for it highlights every flaw
makes your eyes
downcast
and you memorize the floor.


We don't realize 
we're selfish
since we are too busy 
focusing
on ourselves.