As sad as this will make me sound, not to mention pathetic and maybe slightly like Bridget Jones, yesterday at about two in the morning I think? ( I don' tend to sleep till around 4) I was just sat in my room sobbing.
After I had watched 90210 and Glee.
It wasn't so much the show themselves that made me cry, more so what they show. Couples.
Always couples. People being together and despite problems, having relationships.
It was horrible to progress back to the state of feeling alone and the reasoning behind this that I'm ugly. Alone, ugly and crying at two in the morning. Crank out the chocolate and you have the beginning of a chick flick. Looking back, it was a spectacular pity fest.
The worse thing is though, is that that's what in my head. It's just kind of pushed down under all the stuff. But I do genuinely feel like that. Dearie me.
Anyway, I know I said I would try to write less whingy, 'romantic pictures' poems but I thought with this reasoning of last night, I was allowed some self indulgence in this one.
Reading it back, this is probably one of the most honest and open poems I've done.
It's not so much the fact
I need someone
to complete me
I don't really want to
be part of some romantic story
something that completely
alters history,
I just want something simple.
A hand to hold
someone to grow old (with)
he can give me his coat
if I get cold
not to tell me I'm beautiful
but he thinks I am
to smile before kissing me
to hold me when I'm sad
or hold me whenever
so tight I think he'll never let go
and I will always know
that he's here
not just for me
but because he wants to be.
After I had watched 90210 and Glee.
It wasn't so much the show themselves that made me cry, more so what they show. Couples.
Always couples. People being together and despite problems, having relationships.
It was horrible to progress back to the state of feeling alone and the reasoning behind this that I'm ugly. Alone, ugly and crying at two in the morning. Crank out the chocolate and you have the beginning of a chick flick. Looking back, it was a spectacular pity fest.
The worse thing is though, is that that's what in my head. It's just kind of pushed down under all the stuff. But I do genuinely feel like that. Dearie me.
Anyway, I know I said I would try to write less whingy, 'romantic pictures' poems but I thought with this reasoning of last night, I was allowed some self indulgence in this one.
Reading it back, this is probably one of the most honest and open poems I've done.
I need someone
to complete me
I don't really want to
be part of some romantic story
something that completely
alters history,
I just want something simple.
A hand to hold
someone to grow old (with)
he can give me his coat
if I get cold
not to tell me I'm beautiful
but he thinks I am
to smile before kissing me
to hold me when I'm sad
or hold me whenever
so tight I think he'll never let go
and I will always know
that he's here
not just for me
but because he wants to be.
