Wasting Away

When I'm older 
I want to be me
not like them
still passionate
not tired
not resting
but living
appreciating 
the smaller things
happy
free. 


When I'm older 
I want to be alive
not wasting away.

Lost Thought

Every wrinkle of the brain
seems to be filled 
with a line of thought
be it an idea
a memory
a fear 
a desire 
a fact

I travel along each crack
picking up this 
but get distracted by that
It's hard to keep track. 


I don't know what I'm loosing
because I'm too busy
finding. 

State of Mind

Teeth coated with the taste of last night 
the head does not feel quite right 
I'm trying to write in longer lines
and even harder, trying to rhyme.


This poem is in bits and not lots of sense 
I apologise but I am feeling a little dense
my head is filled with so much stuff 
some good, some bad, enough is enough. 


Media, essays, thimbles, pens, rain
Drama and how nothing will be the same
I'm trying to search through it all to find
my right, my usual, state of mind. 

Compassion

It's hope
in humanity
that we still,
despite it all
look out for
each other
like a sister
or brother 
not for reward
or for own
satisfaction 
but simply
because 
its the right
thing to do. 

Significance

Our lives are important to us
and those who are in it
but to outsiders
it's nothing
you could even say
meaningless.

And to other countries
the world
the universe
we are not a blink
or even an eye lash.
But to survive
we can't think
like that.

So let's think smaller
and focus on
those who make
our own world
larger.

A Near Touch

Heart beat picking up
a rhythm
it hasn't had in a while 
eye contact
then a smile
and then another 
Did I just make you laugh?


Fingers achingly close
to yours 
but not holding them 
we're not anything 
but in my head
painting romantic pictures
with the smallest
of details 
we can be something. 

Leavers '11

Memories 
trying to capture them
with a camera
quick,
smile .


This is the end
of us
of what we've been
for two years
or for some seven 


With our hoodies
and our books
our looks
of smiles and tears 
of friendship
firming
or breaking apart 


This place will hold 
a place
forever in my heart. 

Hug

Hold me
Until things
Get better. 

Innocence

When did the taboo of alchol
become the foundation
of having fun?
When we were young
we needed ourselves
and not much else
now we're grabbing 
from a shelf
desperately at a bottle
wanting to put our hearts
in to full throttle
maybe,
as we become older
we loose the ability 
to loose ourself.

She Turns

She turns 
as easily as a flower
does, towards the sun
as an eager reader
turning the pages
of their favourite book
as leaf on a branch
in a gust of wind. 


She changes
like the seasons
adapting to whichever
situation suits her best 
Being with certain others
and ignoring the rest.


She's your closest friend
the person you fear most
she has your secrets 
in her lap
ready to spill 
in one easy move. 

Endings

The world didn't end to today, good stuff indeed. Probably should be doing something better than watching an incredibly shitty film avoiding an essay/revision.

Friendships
Relationships
String
School
Work
Day
Night
Time
Life
Everything 
has an ending
except a sausage
which has two. 

Carried by Ears

What's that little sound?
It's a secret
Can't you hear it?
Trailing along
in a whisper
only to be picked up
by a certain few
and then held
in their ears.


If it was heard by all
then surely it wouldn't
be a secret
but something more
vicious instead. 

Sharks in the Deep End

When I was younger
I feared sharks
in the deep end of the pool.


I sat on top of
the washing machine
to see dad
when Harry fought Voldemort.
inside Hogwarts school. 

I left a can of Pepsi
when a wasp climbed in 
and always avoided 
them swarming around
an open top bin. 


Scaring me isn't too hard
I can easily 
be caught off guard 
but maybe
if I have friend, 
I can take the plunge
in to the deep end. 


PS - Note of interest. The swimming pool in the picture was the one I went to when I was little  :') 

Tempted

Yup, oneword.com


The image is from the marshmallow test - they're told if they wait they get another marshmallow. It's a very sweet (pardon the pun) video. 
Though slightly mean, I suppose. 

Chocolate
Secrets 
One more drink 
Spending
Splurging 


Something you shouldn't
or you don't need
but you want to
really want to 
It beckons a finger
calling you over 
whether you fight it 
or not
well,
that's a whole other poem. 

Censorship

I think I can be too open
not with my heart
nor with my legs
but within conversation.


I say things
that don't need to be said
not mean
or degrading
but personal
to me,
Almost as if peeling
open my skin
and letting people see
everything


Allowing myself 
for judgement
I can't hide
just be found
not my secrets
but just my self


I'm out in the open
with my words
and for others
to shoot me down. 

Sarah's Poem

For Sarah. 
I stole her hair clip. 

I don't think I've said
how often you've cheered me up
when no one else did
or how you're there
when I need you
and you know
just what to say


This is kind of tricky
since we're not the kind of folk
who compliment 
we're more the type to joke
but yet
I wouldn't ask for it
any other way


Love you. 

Paradise

My friend got me poetry magnets as a late birthday present. Now I have a baking tray of words in case I ever stuck =]  This poem is made of some of those words 

Please
lets be happy
always young
shine like a golden summer
only sleep and dream
after a beautiful day
or 
bloom in the night
with the moon. 

The Ellie Poem

Because I know 2 other Ellie's who I love to pieces =]  I wrote this in the back of their maths book and promised I would post it on here. I know at least one of them will be reading this and I just want to say thank you for not only for reading my blog but for being such a lovely friend. 

We are called Ellie
our friendship more durable
than a farmer's welly 
We are tasty
like jelly
(mmm baby) 
We have lots of belly
laughs
(you thought I called you fat)
Love forever
because I'm gay

Vulnerability

Depending on others, 
solely 
on others 
not necessarily 
bad
all of the time
but when it reaches
the point of despair 
where you can't see 
anything else 
not even the person
you're leaning on


Just stuck in the darkness
and you can't depend
on yourself,
that's when vulnerability 
throws you
in to the stormy weather
of desperate company. 

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This is what happened yesterday -.-

Hence why there was no blog. However, I can assure I did write one, I just wasn't able to post it. 

Note the date of the word document..... Anyways here is yesterday's poem.

Old Man Time

Time drags it feet

shuffling along the pavement

painfully slowly

like an old man

lost in the memories 

of decades gone by

it stops to tie its laces

before continuing 

no hurry to get anywhere 

not today.  

Writer's Block

Cement in the mind
stopping thoughts
ideas 
anything really
other than mediocre
observations 
Boredom strolls along
plonks itself down 
nodding
at procrastination 
the two smugly grin. 


Fuck off 
writers block. 

LUPUS (and an unrelated poem)

Find Out About Lupus

I can't really write a poem on lupus since it's a disease and I'm not good enough at science to link the 2 but please please click on the link and spread awareness. 

Anyway. The poem for today (which is completely unrelated) 

Taken

I want you to be mine

but that sounds

like a claim 

and anyway

you're already

someone else's.

Maybe I'm just 

over thinking

but were you leaning closer

after we'd spoken?

Was that smile there before?

And like an immature

school girl

did you mean

for our arms to brush?

Maybe you would

like me if you were single

Or maybe

most likely 

it's all in my head

and you'd always

choose her

over me,

instead. 

Get Well Soon

I will try to say more
than get well soon
I will try to say more
than feel better
I will try to say more
than thinking of you.


I suppose 
really,
I'm just
trying to say
you've been there for me
and I'll try
to be here for you. 

This is for the Rejects

I know I said I'd try not to whine so much about appearance on this any more but I wrote this after talking with a friend yesterday at a party yesterday.

Hello. 

I'm ugly

nice to meet you. 

Don't feel the need

to look at me

too long, it's fine

I don't think you need

or want my name,

Go to talk to my pretty friend. 

This poem 

is for the ones

in the shadows

hidden in the glow 

of beauty

the ones who are looked at

in desperation

a last option

not much attention 

just eyes 

glazed over

with too much drink

This is for the ones 

who are alone

together

we still stand

take my hand

and we will try

to move out of 

the shadows

and in to the light.

Tell it to the Wishing Well

I won't waste wishes
nor will I whine
you know the kind
of thing
revolving around
appearance 
love 
self.


I'll accept a penny
to throw down a well
I'll blow a dandelion
or follow a shooting star
but to you
and you
I'll try keep it to myself
for petty problems
don't need to fill up
other people's time. 

Finding An Idea

Like a wave
gently kissing the beach
but rolling back out
before making
much of an impression


An idea strolls across
the edges of the brain
but walking away
before the mind
can take hold
and remember it


Lines of poetry
characters for a story
labelling a feeling
all come
but then soon go
as if they were never there
like a beach
with the tide out.

Esteem

A punch in the face
making you wince
a kick in the leg
making you stumble
a pull of the tongue 
making you fumble 
a ripple in the stomach
making you feel sick
a wipe of the hands
making them slick


Quick.
look down
and find somewhere
to hide
from yourself
and from 
everyone else. 

Change

Bare branches
to buds
to blossoms
to leaves
back to 
branches. 


Clearly,
I'm not a tree
and I don't think 
I need poetry 
to say this 
but
let me try
and explain
the simile.


Change happens
unavoidable 
but I think
I'm happy 
with changing
I'm becoming
comfortable
with myself 


I'm no blossom
not even a bud
but I think I'm doing
what I should
and accepting
changes 
not trying to run
or stop the season,
listening to reason
slowing down
and embracing
the spring breeze. 

Because

I love this poem. So much. I highly highly suggest reading it =]

Gabriel Gadfly - Magic

Because

you know I like fish and chips

no mushy peas

please

Because

you know dinosaurs

are angry

due to their short arms

and lack of hugs

Because

we can have fun

play games

but we're real

no charades

pretending to be

what we're not

Because 

we love Harry Potter

exploring Hogwarts

Snape's memories

but no poison tainting

our pensieve 

Because you help me find

what I lost

whenever I think

it's nearly gone. 

Me

So it's May. I didn't think I'd be able to last this long doing this thing. My aim when starting this was to inspire and keep myself inspired. It's working =]

I find myself enjoying the scenery around me instead of looking at the floor. 


I'm thinking of getting a tattoo that says inspire - to  remind me to keep seeking it.


I have a notebook slowly becoming filled with images I find that stir some sort of emotional response. 


I plan to go to the library and try to take out all the books I have on my 'To Read List'

(I have a To Read List) 


I'm, dare I say it, but I'm kind of happy with who I am. I'm not sure if writing this has lead to this discovery. I feel like I have some depth to myself but just being 18, I know this is still pretty shallow.


I'm not happy all the time but I think I'm content for most of it. 


Alright so poem for the day. Being an internet user myself, I know the attention span is lacking so I'll keep it short for today.

Make me think
Make me smile
make the short time
we have
worth the while.
You be you
I'll be me
maybe one day
we
could be we.