The Decision is Mine

So I just spent about twenty minutes in my bedroom, drinking a cup of tea and thinking. But it's hard how to describe what I was thinking about, everything just seemed to drift around my head, not really settling down anywhere. So this poem is trying to get those thoughts to stick somewhere. 

In this room 
things don't really change 
the sunlight comes 
the sunlight goes 
the dust covers on books fade
glumly sat next to lucky ones
who got the shade. 


In the years that are coming now 
decades or more 
I won't be able to get through this door
It won't be home
I won't be welcome.


But unlike the books 
that are stuck on my shelf 
I have the decision to change
change my life and my self 
I can change through time
time won't change for me 
it's my decision, the decision is mine. 


We all grow old 
this we've been told 
but in comparison to earth 
and how it came to be 
we are still so young
and our significance tiny.


We all move on
whether a different bedroom
with books stuck in the gloom
or something deeper 
we make that change 
stuck in the flow of time 
but that decision,
that decision is mine.